I'm not so sure what to write right now. I'm just very very very very confused.

Don't pretend sleeping dogs don't exist, or they will bite you in the ass.

The thing is, for a good three months there, I really didn't feel any more than friendship for him. I had the whole thing figured out. In order to get over Pete, I needed to transfer those feelings elswhere, and he was a safe target. I was all gooey and obsessy for about a month and a half, then after a visit to him realized it was all in my head and that was that.

I just spent five days with him. Not only are those feelings back, but they are a hell of a lot stronger. I was constantly telling myself to let it go, to forget about it. The thing is he really is my best friend. I have a closeness, a connection with him that I haven't had with anybody since Siobhan. If he knew how I felt, that would totally mess that up. I have little reason to think it could even possibly be mutual. And of course, I told him he's like a big brother to me, which of course is a flat out lie. I just felt the need to step away from my true feelings. My worry is that even kept in, these feelings will ruin our friendship. I am trying my damdest to put them out of my mind, but they seem to grow stronger when unattended. I kept convincing myself it was gone, but then he'd smile, or look cute, and it would rush back. It wouldn't even work physically. We'd look absolutely ridiculous. He can't even fit in my car for crissakes. I know of too many friendships that have been ruined by feelings like this. What the hell do I do to save this one?

-CRbE