Ok, some background is needed. Read this, at least the bottom part. I am Lola.

A small update to that: Quarters had talked to me hours after this was decided. We have talked since, and sorted some stuff out. We both know the love is still there, but neither of us is in a place to work on the relationship now, so we are seeing eachother every couple weeks and will probably start couple's counseling in December. While there are no other people in that way in either of our lives, I have had some concerns about a good friend of his who:

Has propositioned him in the past.

Has told him that I am one of the least nice people she knows (after I took care of her for a week when she was recovering from surgery).

Is a big fat hootchie girl.

Anyhow, before all this happened, we had gotten tickets to go to a concert yesterday. The two of us, and Hootchie and her (obviously gay) boyfriend who she has been saying she is going to break up with for years and (Coincidence?) just did last week, although that hasn't altered their sex life.

Anyhow, we drove separatly to the concert. Pete said he is not comfortable with us kissing or cuddling. However, when we got there, he sat with one leg on either side of me and spent much of the time petting my hair and giving me backrubs. When we were standing, we could put one arm around eachother but not both. He tickled me at one point. I told him if he could tickle me, I could kiss him. He stopped, but then later did it again. But he wouldn't let me kiss him. Now, this is someone who, throughout most of the 12 years we've been together, has been VERY affectionate. We have always been all over eachother, to the point where it would get annoying. That he suddenly is that repulsed (or at least that's what it seemed at the time...I'll get to this later) by kissing me really was hard to take.

Anyhow, the others had just broken up last week, so they were completely cuddled and making out most of the show. He is moving away next week, so they are just saying 'fuck it' (actually quite literally) until then. She is nervous about being single. My strategy was to be really sweet and nice to her, scope her out and such. I didn't sense any wierd energy between her and Pete, so I am much less concerned about that now. She told me she thinks it will work out. I don't know how much credibility I give her, but the thing is IF she is being genuine, she would know better than anyone else who has been telling me that.

Anyhow, she wants her and me to be friendlier. We have talked of getting together, and somehow now have decided to go shopping for, um, 'electronics' together. I shit you not.

My strategy there is don't say anything I don't want getting back to him, and to say the things I do, maybe even telling her not to tell him. Hehe. I'm sneaky.

Anyhow, after the concert, he drove me back home, and we had a pretty good talk. When we got to my house, he gave me...(drumroll)

A HANDSHAKE!!!!

Then he remembered he had to get something from inside, so he came in. Then he gave me about a 2 minute hug.

Anyhow, back to this wierd affection boundry thing. I talked this morning to a wonderful person who I truely don't know how I'd be making it through all this without. I also consider her a relationship Goddess. She knows wierd men. And she has all the patience in the world, because she is married to my dad.

Anyhow, she didn't think he was repulsed to kiss and cuddle me. She thinks he was trying not to get turned on. That actually makes perfect sense, because in the car on the way down, we did have a talk about that and he said that he was quite frustrated. I will assume that this is what was going on. We agreed that until we were ready to committ to making this work, we will not have sex. So it does make sense.

Well, once again, AAAARRRRRGGGGHHH!!!!!

Lilah Tov,

-CRbE