I NEED TO GET KEN OUT OF MY HEAD. HE IS SO OBLIVIOUS. HE IS TOO GOOD A FRIEND. HE LIVES TOO FAR AWAY.

So why, after a month, am I still obsessing? I am in my favorite place on earth, with my brother who I see next to never, and I can't stop daydreaming about Ken. About how I'm going to see him soon. About what could be. About what CANT be. Why do I torture myself like this? I got asked out by a really nice sweet guy who lives less than 15 miles away from me. I could focus there. But no, it's always back to the same person.

Today for the first time it occured to me that he actually may meet and fall in love with someone. That would so suck. Meet and date yes. Get some experience yes. But otherwise, noooo. I'm so selfish. I should want my friends happy. And this is so completelly academic, because i don't think it will happen for a while, by which time I will be either A) over this or B) with him.