Did you know that the most fertile soil on earth is volcanic soil? I have known this (I DO work in wine country), but it only just hit me driving home tonight. To grow the most beautiful and fruitful forms of life, there first has to be a violent explosion that kills everything. You can grow crops anywhere, but unless you have volcanic soil they will never truely be all they can be. I just went through the explosion. Maybe going through this phase of death necessary to grow into who I need to be.

I just had dinner with my sister in law. I promised myself I'd be upbeat. That lasted about the first 45 minutes.

Then she told me I seem to have a new light, and I broke down. So did she. We agreed not to keep our feelings from each other and that no matter what happens we are still sisters. She thinks she can still support both of us without a conflict of interest. She feels like the issues were all relationship oriented and don't affect her relationship with either one of us. I was glad to hear that. I had been hesitant to call her because I didn't want to put her in a wierd spot. I guess I need to give people more credit.